i do not want to cry. i cannot cry. and i do. i use the movie as an excuse to leave the house and all that it bestows upon me in it's looming manner. i cry with incomprehensible words. i try to speak and only a whimper comes out. sometimes matching the soft wails of travis in the cd player. i decide to take a left onto a street i do not know the name of and i pass the dam, shadowed in the darkness of trees and yet illuminated with the man made lights both overlooking the water and from inside the foggy windows. i drive past on this street i do not know the name of. dark and hilly but the moon creates a glow of peace. watching me with the eyes that are watching it in other places.
my father tells me that commercials sell with lifestyles. american eagle sold me with:
i do my best thinking in my car i'm not even really thinking the music's turned too loud just driving but i like that sometimes i just jump in and drive with no real destination i don't even mind if i get lost
currently spinning travis: the last laugh of the laughter