9.30.2002

god damnit, i am some convenient poon. across the street poon. and i like you. and you're adorable and you volunteer and you sing and you dance and you're funny.
and i'm cool.
greenkiss: we're going to put up signs on our windows that say
i heart odb: that say?
greenkiss: "convenient poon"
i heart odb: oh like convenient store
greenkiss: yeah
i heart odb: only with pussy
there are times when i feel like if i need someone to talk to that i'm just a burden. and i have to keep things to myself.

9.28.2002

p.s. i am way cooler than boy-girl parties.
i saw a real life rastafarian today and he told us we looked like princesses. he was sitting on a bike wearing red pants and yellow socks and smiling about life.
igby goes down was good.
stink and nat and i were loud on the until the clock progressed closer and closer to dawn. we stayed warm last night. and sang on the way home.

9.27.2002

damion wrote a pretty story:
there was once a sound and a hum and they were friends. and they did all sorts of friend stuff together, like share dum dums gotten from bank teller windows and making kites out of happiness and things like that. and then one day hum realized that he and sound were "DRIFTING APART" as they say. those people that say it being people who've never felt anything in life other than the false emotions of trying to emulate a t.v. show. omg. and anyway sound folded in on itself and hum quit humming because nothings ever as easy as when you're young and free.
the un-beginning.

9.26.2002

we drew outside today. and i got grass down my pants. i can't draw so i mingled between what they would see and what i wanted to sketch. i traced my outline from the sun with a thin piece of compressed charcoal and sat back to admire my work and think some about the music and the people and the sky with it's fading moon and bright blue. i don't want to draw. i like it better when the wind is rustling the paper into triangles. my hair is falling out of the bun i threw together in a ten minute perusal of the closet, the bathroom and the morning. my vision is still blurred as i start down the hill.
stank-o and i call each oter on the phone and talk about babies and a-holes and how much we want to marry david sedaris and beck.

9.25.2002

oh what a beautiful morning. he calls me darlin'. and jack and i discuss renaissance art after lunch. the sunset on the ddrive home two nights ago was worthy of a pinting, one of those heavenly skies you see once in a while. i slip belle and sebastian into the discman that takes me to and from class. and i lay back with eyes closed listening to sea changes by beck. color swirls through closed blinds and into the eyes. natalie's shoes are strewn upon the floor in a lackadaisical manner so as to suggest the tired droopy feeling of the room. there's a slight mugginess wrapped in the blankets and i'm headed out the door again.

9.22.2002

let natalie and i do a little belly flashing and we'll follow your zig zag dance back to the nest.
yesterday natalie and i sat in decrepit couches near the windows of metro and watched the people walk by for over an hour. we'd see some multiple times and most never again.the light came through the window and reflected passers onto the wall. you sort of sink into the velour and fall behind it in a daze of observation.
i'm sure the neighbors wanted to murder us last night for being so loud. between booty dancing, atc, singing to prince and composing stuff on the guitar, i must admit the crowd got a bit rowdy.
will picked me up and carried me outside over his shoulder. and i was immediatley grilled after he left. i don't know. but a boy who sings prince falsetto and dances the female part in atc, well, i'll just say he's a contender.
i miss you cuddles.

9.21.2002

we bounced and moved to the roots last night. some scratchin and rapping through flashing lights. everyone was too close together especially with notone mcdumbass standing behind us. but it was hot to move and shake down with ben and nat. apparently i should be a stripper.
i sat out on the bench last night listening to your voice which was oh so good to hear again. the clock's hands changed quickly.
i'm in close correspondance with a boy who asks me what type of cloud is my favorite and tells me of tim burton's low point. wilderness firefighting and laying down drum tracks. it's ridiculous how much a letter can mean. the weather's been nice and i've been looking at the clouds more.
we dance to some europop with the blinds closed and practice our moves and i think you're jealous that you can't look through our inverted peephole.
my foot isn't quite as broken.
liz and nat and i laughed hysterically about random shit on the way back from dinner. ex latrasha and milton.
the sun filters through the blinds and patterns onto the blanket and the floor. i woke up three times. the dream kept it too weird to go back to sleep.
i followed pencil lines on a piece of wood with the jigsaw and sanded by hand every inch.
the little kids next door bought my water guns and chased each other around squirting.

9.18.2002

me and sixth graders:
PiNBaLlWIzArd530: did you know on the news it says theres a place in austin ithink they said where you can buy and sell babies
greenkiss: i don't think so jessica
greenkiss: that's illegal
PiNBaLlWIzArd530: dude it was on the news
greenkiss: but i'll try to sell you there
PiNBaLlWIzArd530: you cant but if you do you can make 3 shiny or dirty pennys
PiNBaLlWIzArd530: but if you did sell me i bet somone cool would buy me
greenkiss: i don't think so
greenkiss: it'd be a homeless man named bert

9.17.2002

pawing pawing pawing with sad music and wooden planks. the book is open but the pages aren't read. so i'm just the medicine. drained the cup through the straw and everything is tossled on the bed. cold and sipping honey from the hive. the children crawl on top of shark's teeth with a masked fellow lurking in the corner. the weather has grown cooler.

9.14.2002

selecting music from the jukebox. admiring painted picture, carved pieces of jade, woven animals, blinged out knives and wooden people.
i hug my pillow when i go to sleep and draw hearts on paper. i started noticing the things that aren't there anymore. rested hand on thigh. and body to curl into under the covers.
i heart how you sent me menopause tea even though i'm not forty.
benny made a beer smoothie last night. i don't know what to think about that one.

9.13.2002

watching people slide down on skateboards and kick flip, shove it or grind. hip hop and b-boys. a guy with a toilet paper handband and some cute thirteen year old ass. i saw phil again. i think he is a contender for the my top five favorite people of all time. aww first love. laid back with permanent markers to vandalize and proposing with a wrench.
class is frusterating b/c i have no skills. and i get more frusterated with every movement of the hand with white charcoal. i see things differently now.

9.10.2002

sometimes i think i let jealousy get the best of me.
my tummy got butterflies today.
and i'm listening to ash all afternoon and beehive and the baracudas all night.
i almost cried in drawing today. and my fingers became dark with charcoal. and i got some on my cheek and on my forehead.
yeah, you light up my life.
the buses are crowded and a girl listens blatantly to our argument between assacre and a.s.a.penis as names for ben's queer punk band.
truthfully, i don't know what i want. and i'm content to take sleeping pills so i don't worry about things when the lights go off.
a little jack skellington and a picture of the elementary school lunchroom tables with colored round seats.
i'm a triple a with no destination in mind.
the lady who works at starbucks in jester makes me smile b/c she calls me sweetheart and sugar and darlin' b/c i think she remembers when i said turtle cheesecake was good. i'm hoping it's special treatment.
would you like to touch my golgi body or my jumbo jamba?
i'm singing the harmony in my head.
jack played songs for us.

9.08.2002

placing the yellow bowl of special k red berries on my lap to push a strand of hair behind my ear. i'm hiding under covers and flipping pages of books.

9.07.2002

natalie and i ate thai food together in a place slightly off the main road. noodles spun with flavors of coconut and tomato and iced tea, orange and creamy. phone calls from the guy in a dorm across the street who wants to get freaky on a saturday night. we've been doing a lot of singing. ben will play with paper picks and we'll sing along in harmony low and slightly breathy b/c sleep has snuck into our eyes and our sighing bodies.
somehow the movie on the line ended up playing on my computer last night. and with my newly acquired broken foot, i can't protest too much. love may not make the world go round bt it sure makes the ride a lot more fun. haha. jesus. johnny played a green plastic harmonica wearing the brown bug eye sunglasses and i countered with the light up red ones from the eighties. i was inside the whole time it rained. the room is very soft right now. i can tell it's cloudy outside and the rolling stones are singing in the background.
we hang sculptures made of lines and string and metal from the ceiling connecting the pieces. giving profound meaning to the ship and big brother but laughing our asses off b/c we're not really one of those people. drawing with charcoal at eight in the morning and covered with black dust at noon. perspective taught in desks and slides of renaissance art projected onto a white wall. i heart art school.

9.05.2002

there's this old woman i see on campus all the time. she wears new white shoes that lace up. i like her b/c she wears muu muus and hose with runs at the ankle and talks about gold to the bus driver b/c she's smart and knows about astronauts. and this morning i got an iced chai and a cinnamon scone between classes and the woman who worked behind the counter was going on about her turtle cheesecake and i told her turtle cheesecake was good and she said "ooo girl" and closed her eyes to make an "mmm" face.

9.02.2002

riding up in the bronco for a pancake breakfast at cristina's. we left two hours later than planned but made mating calls to make up for it. three packages of ramen, assorted soda and alchohol for some everyone was relaxed and we got tired. bling bling on the ass and v-neck sweater with cut off sleeves. i like graph paper animals and trips to the store for butter.

9.01.2002

i pretended to be asleep this morning. i didn't want to ruin their moment.
do not ride with johnny in cabs.
you'll find out the hard way he has crabs.
nat and gabe and i went to the game last night and watched the longhorns kick unt's ass. a sea of orange screaming "make 'em eat shit". damn we're classy. we bought a four dollar and fifty cent soda in a souvenir cup and a pretzel for two seventy five.
out late the past two nights. wandering around campus looking for a party...sort of. but we ended up watching forty eight hours : mysteries at some guy's house. trust me, it was full of laughs. rarr. and there's this boy. i was feeling shitty and he recognized me from the dorm party. i don't know. maybe there's a lack of brutal honesty or i just don't know what's going on. short stack of pancakes at kerbey lane. it's late and muggy outdoors. and we walk back together only to end up with him laying on a bench a block away from the dorms. and his head is close to my leg. there's a couple making out farther down the row of benches. his name is sam.
hot shots of blood and guns. pulp fiction on a saturday afternoon. lady is back in town. stank and johnny and i hide under the covers laughing hysterically and being close. johnny is folding the sleeve of my shirt upon itself. stink and i share a pillow. and it's good being all back together. the windows are rolled down in tash's explorer. and paul revere is at spiderhouse as we sit at the wooden table we sat at last time. our initials are still carved into the wood.
respect is due. so bon voyage my darling.