6.30.2003

today i wondered what it would be like to live in my closet. i crouched down and crawled in and closed the door so only a little bit of light came in through the crack. it was small looking out to big. my knees were pulled up to my chest and i wrapped my arms around them.
i like to sing biz markie when i am all by myself.
the people i call don't call me back.
le ciel est couvert. right? my french is kind of rusty.
i want to paint and cry.
why don't i write as much as i used to? and why do i want to go somewhere new?
i made myself lunch and curled up on the futon.
my cup got chipped.
maybe i will go make tea.
i like minty tea with honey.

6.29.2003

dear mom
isn't it sad that i don't have any ice cream, candy or cookies at my new apartment?
love
kelly
i like to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on wheat bread b/c they fill my tummy with yummyness.
the blinds are open and m.c. escher: the life and complete works lies opened on my bed. the computer switched on with the cursor flashing after lines of letters. i should be typing a paper.

6.16.2003

i hate being poor right now.
my dad called someone a walking buttcrack.

6.12.2003

i'm tired tired and the dears are playing in the background.
today was sun and long hair dried out by chlorine and googles so i could watch the sky from underwater.
bubbles float up and dance between each other.
we stared at each others goggle eyes and laughed in water.
my ears still pop when i go too deep.

6.11.2003

i hate vegetarians
i do
especially vegans
meat is for eating
and if you don't eat cheese you are stupid
score...a direct hit.
i hung a calender above the light switch on the wall.
there is a woman who lives next door to brian and she always wears jogging clothes. oversized yellow tank top and black or yellow jogging shorts. when i see her, i think of joan didion on the cover of the book i own. and mariah and the nothingness.
and sometimes i think of tea in cups with cream being poured in and swirls with the spoon.
the kitty is watching a fly.
i would like a bicycle.
fruit and bread. cake and salsa. free samples at the grocery store. filling plastic containers with organic peanut butter and carrying my products to the check out line. a hug for my curly headed hobo friend.
brian said that he was dirty. but i associate with all types.
our living room looks loftish. a cushion couch. a tv on a black plastic bag. and a lamp resting on a wooden ladder.

6.06.2003

mango, watermelon, strawberry kiwi and coconut water ices eaten in the sun. i like the sweat that forms like a mist on my body. crowded and loud smelling like sunscreen.
i like to be under water.
dancing in the dark to wilco on hardwood floors. the light creeps in from another room, but your face is still a silouette.
i haven't been getting enough sleep.
there is a vase of flowers resting on window air conditioner. the tiles in the bathroom are blue and white squares. the walls are taped off properly for painting. lemongrass, aqua sky and bamboo shoot. so bohemian, n'est pas?
audrey tautou rests in a box of happenstance.
cold horchata in a plastic cup. grilled cheeses with real cheddar. bread with roasted garlic hummus or soft butter.
i found my new summer loves.