ever since two undisclosed people (i would go as far as to say best friends at the time) completely dumped me as a friend in the past few years, i've found it harder and harder to put forth the effort into concept of friendship. this is not to say i love the people who are close to me, in fact i revel that i know them and get to share good times with such beautiful and hilarious people. deep down i'm uncertain. maybe it's being in the same place where i'm bound to hear about or see one or the other from time to time, but i feel socially inept here. i was v. inspired in vienna to come back and kick ass as the saying goes, but upon returning...the attitude reverted. so as a way to express my feelings to those i care deeply about in total yearbook format in no particular order...

ben: you are my soul twin (four years and counting). you are a genius. and every day that i see you working on something, i am proud of you. you are eddie and richard and yngwie and cuddly puppies combined. you are smart as fuck and talented as fuck and hilarious as fuck and you like to fuck...oh wait. i love you, dontay moon goddess.

erin: you're like my other sister. i just totally trust you and love who you are. without you, things would have been totally different. in a bad way. b/c we wouldn't have found so many phallic objects among other reasons. and i'm lucky to know you.

vero: duhz, you're my mom. i'm going to miss you in the fall b/c i'm going to miss my crazy vegetarian modern latina that makes me fall over laughing. you are smaht and cool and so cultured, it makes me jealous and i really look up to you.

natalie: you are the sweet captain. to be honest, you're like the honorary pony to my pony b/c you are that awesome. i love how nutty you are when you are tired. and how motivated you are to get shit done. you rule.

johnny: maybe we don't see each other as much, but i still think you're like the most megabad artist/musician/mexican. literally everytime i see some of your shit, be it a serigraph or a performance, i'm like, damn boy is awesome. your drive is fucking out of control. and i love you for it.

tyler: i trust you wif all my heart. and you are by far one of the most caring and dear people in the world. i like that you listen. and you really listen. and i like that you bring champagne for me to get drunk on. you should know that i am always here for you, not just b/c you are always there for me, but b/c you deserve all the love you can get.

charles: thank you for always talking to me and letting watch the wonder years and queer eye at your house b/c it meant a lot. you are the karaoke king and a sweetheart. plus you are hilarious and cool. cool is all that matters.

nick: what the fuck? the science art love triangle is a beautifully chaotic thing (haha). i am so totally in love with you. when you smile, i smile. and i stick by my assertion that you have grown to be a better dancer than myself, tim harrington and napoleon dynamite. and i love when we dance together. you're my little chef, little scientist, little literaturist, little movie critic...and i love that you share all of those things with me. you are everything on that list and it just backed up my already sure feelings that you are the greatest boy in the world for me that makes me the happiest a girl could be.

"hags" and shoutouts. haha.


i really want a wee little kitten.
fourteen places you want to go:
01) madrid
02) brazil
03) san miguel de allende
04) iceland
05) ireland
06) jamaica
07) argentina
08) london
09) marrakesh
10) dubrovnik, croatia (again)
11) somewhere in canada
12) new york
13) china
14) australia

thirteen random things you like:
01) mcsweeney's
02) limeade
03) popsicles
04) reading books
05) the line "hit me jules"
06) cuddle fests and cuddling with kitties
07) beef crunchy tacos
08) "there is a light that never goes out"
09) dance parties/dancing on the bed to junior senior, etc.
10) team awesome
11) the sun
12) the ocean
13) lone star

twelve movies:
01) city of god
02) the god of cookery
03) before sunrise
04) seven samurai
05) great expectations
06) pride and prejudice
07) to catch a theif
08) breakfast at tiffany's
09) the big lebowski
10) hedwig and the angry inch
11) y tu mama tambien
12) wild zero

Eleven good bands/artists:
01) beck
02) les savy fav
03) missy elliot
04) ash
05) phoenix
07) nwa
08) talib kweli
09) peaches
10) scissor sisters
11) rolling stones

Ten things about you...physically:
01) tall
02) unwashed hair
03) bitten fingernails
04) pretty lips
05) long neck
06) hot buns
07) gigantasaurus smile
08) lazers
09) horse teeth
10) big smart brain

nine good friends (in no particular order):
01) ben
02) nick
03) natalie
04) charles
05) veronica
06) erin
07) miguel
08) barbara
09) chris

eight favorite foods/drinks:
01) pesto
02) milkshakes
03) asiago cheese bagels with plain cream cheese
04) the navy beans in my stew
05) lasagna
06) creme brulee
07) homemade macaroni and cheese
08) biscuits

seven famous people you want to be friends with:
01) eddie murphy
02) beck
03) tim harrington
04) chiaki kuriyama
05) cary grant
06) claire danes (sorry girl crush)
07) larry david

six things that annoy you:
01) new age
02) crazy lying bitches
03) cell phones ringing
04) scenesters who think they are not scenesters
05) drama
06) being at home

Five things you touch everyday:
01) nick
02) a cup
03) the steering wheel
04) a keyboard
05) kitty fur

Four shows you watch:
01) curb your enthusiasm
02) queer eye for the straight guy
03) full house b/c it's always on
04) degrassi: the next generation

Three places you go regularly:
01) to bed
02) to miguel's
03) the art lab

Two of your favorite books:
01) you shall know our velocity by dave eggers
02) white teeth by zadie smith

One person you want to see right now:
01) seamus mcseamus/cathal (they count as one, my irish chums)

i changed it a little bit b/ci felt like talking about famous people and vacations. lists still rule.


i want to name my kids diamonds and danger dynamite.
i love dinosaurs.
mcsweeneys.net is the new summer craze.
what's up, missy?
hamburgers rule.
natalie is cool
ben aqua = tubular.
me+nick=cutest couple ever
i like laying on the mattress with the windows open.


things that are hot right now:

the phrase "happy baby"
pictures of the ocean
the new (old) dave eggers
talking about junior high/high school dances
banana splits
making your own popsicles
awesome people
the babysitter's club
old music comps b/c they are funny or so good they hurt
this conversation:

publicsignage: will smith makes me angry
greenkiss: why b/c he's in the movie you wanted to star in
greenkiss: i, robot
publicsignage: yea he took my role, dammit
publicsignage: im an angsty troublemaker cop out to prove everyone wrong
publicsignage: its a totally original plot and i was perfect for the role
greenkiss: i know
greenkiss: it hurts
publicsignage: im sure you felt the same when you saw they picked halle berry for cat woman

puss in boots
the lost boys (by that i mean the coreys)
the wonder years
going swimming
saying awesome
the whole concept of ms. popularity
the phrase "wickedy wack"
the baby jesus
milkshakes, duh
from an email to cathal and seamus:
dubrovnik, croatia. nick and i were right by the sea. seafood lasagna = tasty. and on our last night we had this extreme sea food platter with fifty shrimps and lobsters and squid and a million other sea oriented characters. croatia was playing somebody that night so every tv in the city was on. anytime the people in the bar would start shouting the waiters would run to the closest tv to see who scored. we drank at night while people in the city passed by us on a smooth marble walkway in the old town. we spent our last day there on the beach. the water was so clear we could see down to our toes. and it was so salty the salt crystallized on our bodies and when i kissed him it tasted like pretzels. i found little pieces of smooth water worn painted tile on the pebbled beach. and the sun made everything look blue and washed out and i bought audrey hepburn sunglasses and smiled and the sun felt good.
i got drunk in paris every night on wine at dinner. not fall down annoying drunk. jolly drunk. in which i would toast a hundred times during the meal. i wanted to take the eiffel tower home with me. we visited it once during the day and once on the last night in the pouring rain. it was all lit up. the best things about paris: the eiffel tower and navy beans in my awesome stew one night. i saw winged victory at the louvre. wore my audrey glasses in the grass and visited the pompidou.


top five right now
one) napoleon dynamite
two) japanese nylon
three) ben aqua and his new car
four) nickers and oeuf
five) duhz...kelis "trick me"

i should get around to posting about the trip. the awesome amazing journey across the pond. but in the mean time, a movie a day (at least) is enough to earn the term "good times".
when i walked off the plane i could smell austin. this muggy heat emerging between the cracks of every building. god bless tacos.