say twut!?


sometimes i want to be fucking glamourous. and then i feel guilty b/c i'm feeling what every american kid feels at some point. wanting to be known or just to be really fucking good at something.
in other news, i can't sleep in the middle of my bed. nor can i sleep on my side of the bed. perhaps in lieu of my literary affair with the wind up bird chronicle i realize i sleep in the transitory middle state of the bed with its rumpled sheets the same as when you were here and still my warm body and my ear to whisper to. i used to wake up and start talking to you, not realizing you weren't there until the morning. i miss you love.
this song always remind me of you and steve zissou in washington in the winter.


dear sweetie,

i look pretty today. my hair is down my back and wavier than normal b/c i braided it yesterday during my crit while it was still wet that morning.

i am listening to the new daft punk...i couldn't resist myself. emotion just ended and human after all is on right now. i have to admit that they are both rather good and that i want to listen to them everyday. when it comes out, i think i will buy it and not mill over it as i have with the new bright eyes. which the week before those
albums were out i was determined to buy, but now i keep second guessing whether or not i should amble on down to waterloo to get them.

for some reason there is a little valentine's candy heart on the keyboard. it's white with an off center pink print that tells me to wise up. the white ones were my favorite whenever i got them. i wonder what they're supposed to taste like, b.c i never figured it out.

i can safely state that daft punk and beck are among my top ten if not top five artists for life. others include the shins and bright eyes.

today as i read on the bus, a girl i knew a long time ago got on near the thirty forth and red river stop. she sat close to me and i could not see her face as it was covered by a red hood. people don't wear hoods all that much anymore. i like to wear the hoods. anyway, she sat a couple of seats away from me, but as i said her face was covered by her hood and the guy sitting between us. i could only see her hands.
one was balled up into a loose fist and the other rested on her backpack. the front pocket of her back pack had a few buttons, one of which said "against abortions/don't have one". i thought it was funny and somewhat familiar that we would both have buttons on our bags and that we were wearing the same colors: teal and red. me in my red velvet blazer and favorite long sleeve shirt. her with that red zip up hoodie and bright tights. i don't think i'll ever talk to her again.

i switched from new daft to new beck b/c i know you want to put a new daft punk song on one of the comps you're making me. don't worry if it's one of those songs i already heard. i like them a lot. after just one listen. i also really like the girl and que onda guero on the new beck. you should find them.

before i rode the bus to work this morning, i went to quack's and drank a latte with a cranberry orange coffee cake. i ate the cake with a fork while my eyes skimmed over the black text lines of my book, which i am growing in love with. you should read it, too. there was a woman with her little boy at the table in front of me and while i ate the boy turned around and stared towards the door, quiet and almost
looking contemplative. he was probably between one and two, i don't think he could talk yet as he kept rather quiet the whole time. i wanted to ask him what he was thinking about. i know he couldn't answer, but i really wondered what he was thinking about. how do children that young think? i know they can't really use words, so do they think in patterns or colors? maybe they can think in words, but
there small mouths cannot reproduce the words they think. i think now that i understand children a tiny bit better with all this education geared towards understanding preschool aged children, i've been thinking really hard about how they think and how i want to see their faces when they play at a younger age. i dunno, just thinking with the keyboard at this time.

now i've switched to arcade fire. the first track [neighborhoods number one (tunnels)] would got quite well along emotions.

i love you.


i miss my wind up bird bookmarked closed and the bamboo knitting needles resting on my desk.
you and me, we've watched audrey and had tea in heavy cups.
i miss my wind up bird bookmarked closed and the bamboo knitting needles resting on my desk.
you and me, we've watched audrey and had tea in heavy cups.


i used to be obsessed with the name julius and i really wanted a cat i could name julius. this was when i was like eleven. i liked the names bruno and sherman for cats, too. now i changed my mind. and if i get a cat this summer, i will name it mochi. i really want a cat.