7.28.2005

i stopped biting my nails and i think this is a record amount of time since say, i was twelve.

my past week off was quite quiet. i spent time dancing with all my heart while wearing the requisite week off wear (a tank and underwear), leaving singing messages on nick's voice mail (whut whut roy orbison!), continuing the debate between colors, and frantically writing notes in a small orange quadrille notepad hoping to find some sort of future project inside the "chasm" of my brain.

i went back the spy museum, paid my five bucks and learned about the enemy within. as any museum would dream, it's exhibition provoked thought. scattered around the images of horrendous lynchings, interned immigrants, suspected reds and dirty protesting hippies were gallup polls asking us attendees what we thought the government should and should not be capable of. so the first i encounter is the question, " do you think the government should ban groups like the ku klux klan?" (this question is nowhere as eloquent as the gallup's wording) with responses ranging from strongly agree to strongly disagree. now, i understand about the first amendment rights that come into place when speaking of disallowing such a group to exist, but nonetheless i answered with a strongly agree. considering such a group acts upon their hatred and their messages, they're impeding upon other's rights and have certainly in the past. and in understanding we've done worse to innocent people that do not belong to prejudiced groups, i think it's certainly fair to make it rather difficult to have a gathering of ignorant white people bent on spreading some bullshit. another question involved agreeing or disagreeing with something along the lines of, "do you think the government has the right to deport or indefinitely detain people suspected of being a part of a terrorist group?" to which i voted, no, they don't. the whole glory of america is the freedom we have (go stars and stripes! omgz!) citizens and visa holders alike were deported or detained when the majority were innocent. and this shit happens all the time. you'd see it with basically any sort of attack on american soil...suspected anarchist immigrants, american double agents selling secrets that lead up to the cold war, etc. and foreigners are to blame. but we don't do anything to these native born american assholes.

yeah? writing this causes me to fear i sound rather modern jackass and pseudo intellectual, but i risked it b/c love and i had a good conversation about all of it.

i'm feeling blunt today. not so poetic. haha. and i want to make a lot of lists, b/c that's a good thing to do when the words don't sound like beautiful prose.

non-fiction is my new favorite. my summer reading list is rather extensive and i am poud, i won't lie, b/c i won't have time to read much once the year starts up again. thus far...

everything is illuminated & extremely loud and incredibly close : jonathan safran foer
the men who stare at goats : jon ronson
secret life of bees : sue monk kidd
hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world & after the quake : haruki murakami
kissing in manhattan : david schickler
sex, drugs and cocoa puffs : chuck klosterman (both nick and i talked about being embarassed pulling a book with this title out of our bags)
the partly cloudy patriot : sarah vowell
the kid (what happened when my boyfriend and i decided to go get pregnant) : dan savage
a couple trasher/quick reads

and i'm in the midst of...

assasination vacation : sarah vowell
fraud : david rakoff
men and cartoons : jonathan lethem
the autograph man : zadie smith

amazing, n'est pas? hahaha.

and the sounds bring me joy, as always. i = mega obsessed with louis xiv and the boy least likely to and my crush on vhs or beta has excalated to a full blown frenzy. we took the lil sis to see them when they played here a couple weeks ago. my mom and cyan visited. mom cooked some good food (pasta with italian sausage), we took them out for good food (somalian lamb and portobello fettucine) and then cooked them good food (gorgonzola butter steak, garlic mashed potatoes and mustard greens). i think if design falls through i'll just stay at home and cook all day.

nicky and i made sprinkle cupcakes with chocolate frosting for our anniversary. what a fucking stud! i wuv him.

the end of the weirdest entries i've written in a while.

7.11.2005

i like the name gemma and i like the city new york and i wish we were there now. my summer has consisted of minimal thought process unless the printed word is before in which case i do much thinking that disappears when i start thinking about the popsicles we have in the freezer. there is a constant supply. empanada picnics in the park, po-boys and the burger cook-offs in the setting sun and flashes of lightening bugs in the four star counted sky.

the spy museum, the world's richest fascist, a "woman" peeing on the side of a truck between chelsea and the financial district, the metro cars, sir olaffen, the laziest gal in town, my honey and me.

natalie and i talked about our lady issues on the phone while ben and i played two tween girls for nearly an hour while vero and i search for a job for lil mami. i'm not on the phone that often, but i suppose they know i think about them.

nick's plaid shorts are crumpled on the floor without companions (suprisingly) and we ate the kix to quickly.

washington is often described as a place where people don't really live. i.e. a temporary place for people passing through to support the various activities of the nation's capital. and it feels that way for me as well. i read a lot and i walk a lot, but i know we'll be back in austin at the end of august. so maybe the thirty dollar chinatown bus to new york was doubly exciting than it should have been. it makes me antsy. jake made a big deal about it being my first time in the city as an adult. the big pluses were being lazy in central park, eating baba ghanouj and fucking fish tacos (ahahahaha). bonita's spicy salsa burned all our tongues till our eyes teared. oh texas.

i currently have a list of five things i miss from home (in no order as usual):

one. la mexicana
two. barton springs
three. dance parties
four. the kids
five. cowboy queso

and to juxtapose, a list of five things i like about being here:

one. nick
two. oeuf
three. finding tasty food (see somali lamb, catfish po'boys, etc.)
four. getting cultural (time for books, a million movies and anti-tourist tourism)
five. the kid (evelyn)/walking everywhere (they both have their ups and downs)

the process of figuring out how to really live with someone has been quite the trial/tribulation. the negatives include arguments over dumb shits and establishing "rules" so as not to upset the independence/the house is disgusting balance. the positives however are obviously more rewarding. i.e. cuddles at night, making up, making food, sharing netflix (aha), going on adventures and reveling in obvious cutest couple experiences. i won't lie about it being one of the harder things i've had to discover and work through, but i guess as jake put it when we visited, " so you guys are like practically married, right? living together is a big deal."

i try to think about the things i really like everyday from the extrememly "dorky" to the more universal. i like the way letters look and the way balloons float in the sky and the lines that everyday things create and even sometimes the way nick forces me to talk shop as he impedes into the design territory. i guess the science art love triangle has that middle ground. and i like that.