7.24.2002

lunch and misconstrued statements followed by playful teasing and glares of death. spooning almond cream snow cone into my mouth from a white plastic spoon and a white styrofoam cup. i want a friend named cuddles. last night i couldn't sleep. fill the porcelain tub with hot water and lie in the steam until the body can't function. blushed red. slide the body into a robe draping over and concealing only parts so that the fan can rush air about. stretching out the limbs to fill up with imaginary and clawing at flesh. he was right about the different hugs. whether wanting more or feeling more lonely afterwards. i'm warm in certain arms. my mother talked to me before i finally climbed upstairs to collapse.