8.12.2001

we escaped to emo's from a different atmosphere to see the u.s.bombs and the circle jerks. old time rockers, mullets, teenage punkers and generic joe blows mashed together in one small room. so close to every hot sweaty body, collectively swaying and screaming along. too many things going on. the lights, the pit, the fights, the music. i had some makeshift earplugs.
sun and sex. massages of sun lotion in the shade of a looming pecan tree. if i could speak i would tell him. the water was cold and my head, peeking out from the liquid plastic surface, was warm and floaty in prospect.
school, the shit itself, starts tuesday. i will come out of the sun, the water, the days that last until four am, anti-job break, into something familiar and yet, anew with age.
again, i feel cold for one.
"we're not twenty-one, but the sooner we are the sooner the fun can begin. get out your fake eyelashes and fake ideas and real disasters and true it's cool to take these chances, it's cool to fake romances and grow up fast and grow up fast and grow fast and grow up fast" dashboard confessional
pedro the lion is coming on her birthday, so i won't get to go with him. "in time memories fade..."
currently spinning: pedro the lion: the longest winter