it's like something is growing in the back of my mind and confusing all the other senses. i don't know what to do. i hate to sound whiney and i hate feeling alone when other people are around. i remember kissing you on the bridge and it was cold. and then the boy in the room with windows. who matters is across the world. and she's a five minute trip away. last night at the fountain, i kept touching every name or plus sign or initials or line someone deligently carved into the stone with a knife or a pen or a key. i kept touching the change in the texture to feel the past. b/c love seemed to find permanence. so many people. i wondered if any of them were still together.