6.28.2001

i think if i just start writing i'll learn something.
it seems more and more quiet to me now, even though the cicadas are singing and built to spill is playing. i haven't really seen anyone for awhile now. trey trey asked me to go tubing with him today. i would sell my soul to hang out with him (well not really) but i have a car. meaning i got stuck with the job of picking my sister up at five. life goes on. i hate wallowing in self pity, so i've been wallowing in mtv..which now that i think about it is more self destructive than i could ever be. how many hours of real world can i watch? jesus, i fucking live in the "real world".
i stayed up last night talking to chuck. he writes with a southern accent. chuck makes me happy. i wear a cowboy hat in the passenger seat and scream yee haw at concerts, chuck wears trucker hats and uses the words cept, aint and reckon.
i've been thinking about cleaning out my wallet. all those pictures from sophomore aren't me anymore. it was strange last night to dream of eric and jimmy and phil, a part of the past. a year ago that seems so much farther away. i couldn't concentrate in government this morning. (not that i've able to lately anyway.) images from me and eric and then kept replaying over and over again in my mind. people i haven't talked to for a long time. it's strange.
i'm sitting in a plan that wasn't executed. being online is my drug. enough to tear me away from what else is going on. i just don't want to get bored.(i bet you can tell.) that sum forty one song is playing and i can play the video in my head (thanks mtv). the singer has a nice face.
maybe i should get off my ass and do something artistic. ehhh. ok.
currently spinning: weezer: i just threw out the love of my life