10.11.2003

listening to jason darling and trying to get all the questions answered. the apartment is deserted and the air conditioner hums in living riim. i don't want to be dressed anymore. he didn't come. colored lights circle the futon. the deadbolt is locked. somehow, i don't feel connected to much anymore. overturned hot pink star sunglasses. i pulled my sleeves down over my goosebumped arms as the gray rumbled overhead. rest in wooden chair turning pages and skimming pictures. i can imagine how it all feels. i like to reach out and touch the pretty fabric and eat by myself near the window so i can watch the town go by. they never look in. peel back tinfoil and come home to a muggy house. the electric bills are so high.