i had this crazy dream with grant last night. i wish it were grant i was sharing a bed right then but anyway... he liked me in the dream...no he loved me. ever had the dream that encoporates all emotions and stand out details of the previous day? i'm so fucking sick of being me sometimes. there's this party tomorrow and i just wanna go and mess around until my problems are gone. but the problem is i'm smart enough to know that'll only fuck me up more. i don't want to go to college a virgin. but i don't want to waste my deflowering (hehehe that phrase) on someone that means shit to me. ben told me once i'd make a great girlfriend... i don't want to be single anymore.
i took some damn chain quiz that said it would take eight guys for me to find true love. does that count guys you went on one date with? then i'd be at eight right now, if not i'm at five. damnit it must sound like grant and i are a couple. i wish. the most i have from him is that piss poor excuse for a date and talking to him in class the following thursday and looking at my show pictures. at least he said that they were awesome. aaggggg is grant worth my effort?
anyway...the beach was a blast. i was sick for the first two days of the trip but to be positive about that, i didn't have to help with anything, i got to catch up on the hours of sleep i lacked, and my deliriousness created some hilarious jokes. just like every year, jess and i created some mad hilarious dance moves, this time at a mcdonald's. i don't really care what they think. nice and tan except for my stomach which i think will permanently be white until maybe august if i'm lucky. i burnt my shoulders, elbows and feet. horrible, absolutely horrible. jess built a fire while i was sleeping and i woke up late and we roasted hot dogs and marshmallos under the stars and moon. we built a labyrinth inspired sand castle. i swear, i act like i'm twelve. but as long as i'm having a good time...
currently spinning: billy idol: white wedding
(note for the masses, billy idol is hot.)