6.16.2001

we sat in the dark last night on a metal seat swinging back and forth. my feet sat in front of me on a metal table, crossed at the ankle. the peeking starry sky hiding behind a tree with branches of trembling leaves hovered above the two of us and we were surrounded by the words of one another.
i get to hung up on "the way things are supposed to be". it makes me feel bad for being so confident in myself which is bullshit. i shouldn't doubt myself but i do. i could ask john out again. even though we haven't met up once in the plans we've made. the sad thing is that sometimes i feel the "we" before there is a "we" by placing too much emphasis on the way things should be. i like him so he should like me. which i think he does, but...there's always a but. ironically "too much drama" by the vandals is playing.