7.22.2001

i wish someone here would talk to me. i am lonely and a little headache has popped up inside my head. i do not feel fuzzy but cold instead. do i say dumb things and piss people off? i do, i think. why do i complain with my mouth shut when things really start to hurt? are people happy they know me? really? i am happy to know them usually. actually everybody is loved by me, i think. i'm smart but not smart. i cannot stop when i should b/c i push to far to appear stronger when i am weaker inside. i become more secluded when being myself cannot change what is going on around me.
my headache hurts so bad, there are tears forming in my eyes.
background: fan sweeping the ceiling, air conditioner breathing and soft taps of keyboard