things are starting to get ugly now. if i hear that damn gorillaz song one more fucking time on those fucking pop radio stations i will proceed in clawing my eyes out. and i've avoided getting a job all summer. now, i realize half the shit that makes me happy during the fucking school year costs money. friends leave and i have to drown myself in music which a) i cannot buy b/c i'm so fucking poor and b) i have not gotten anything new for a long ass time with the exception of the new weezer back in may and the grandaddy album in july. so many good things are coming up and i have no way to afford them. i feel very trapped in this material world. i just want to enjoy what others say. i hate that i have to admit i need a fucking job. no matter how much i don't want one, i need one. and part of me is lost when i say that. i can't go hide in the bathroom anymore and scrunch up my face at the prospect because some damn thing is always knocking at the fucking door. always.