so i'm a badass in blue jeans and those fly round eye sunglasses. i've got the rose-colored ones on. so even though the vision is a little dulled it's toasty in blur.
soooo tired
wanting to curl up with you
even though it is day there
and night here
these mothers keep slipping down my nose, causing me to pull the bookish move of sliding them up with one pointed index finger. it's fuckin' ten thirty, and they're all in bed. someday i'll be cute and everyone will love me. nothing artistic comes dripping through theses lips or flowing through these veins. i'm pulsing quick thought and initial reaction. i feel like closing my eyes and changing perspective. ripping the marrow out of life and loving it. don't care bout the results right now b/c i'm in the present.
i feel like i haven't talked to people in like, a hundred years, when in actuality it's been maybe five days. someday i'll be saying good bye and i wonder how much it will mean.
i have yet to bathe myself in the water of porcelain and foam it up with clean smells. i think guy's deodorant smells good...wet rain and that old spice scent. it'll be nice someday when my scents mix with someone else's soaped and fresh body. mmm sexy with white tile and white fluffy towels. my hair still smells like shampoo.
the rentals tell me "it's all about sex."
i was naughty today...but it's been awhile so why the hell not? i miss that guy, johnny c. and i can say whatever i want to. who knows what kind of crazy plots we'd be planning or what deep conversations we'd be falling in now. does that kid ever think about me?
i feel like kickin' things a lot now. sometimes, it's more along the lines of scraping rocks along with the toes of my converse or sweeping up leaves. sometimes it's kicking to destroy stuff. that's the one i'm feeling right now. if i packed up and left right now, where would i go? i have the feeling that i'd travel for a long ass time with many stops and too many ties that i'd never want to leave behind. but there's something pulling me...the fated hand, as i've called it before. i'm in love with someone that doesn't exist in my current state. and i'm drawn to find this person...be they in australia or virginia. i'm curious.
currently spinning: creation: making time