i like the wrinkles by my eyes when i smile.

i used to drive by the house of the boy i was madly in love with in highschool (not enough to classify as stalkerdom) and i did it again today. just to do it. there was something soothing about it when i was younger. now i think about how i will probably never do it again. which then led to a waterfall of the things that make my eyes look distant. maybe the fear of growing old has take ahold of me or maybe it's that i feel i prematurely lost my youth. i hate sounding dramatic, but at least i'm being honest.

it feels like nothing outside today. maybe slightly cooler than warmer. and the trees are like spindly fingers reaching up. when did it get so boring?

nick has interviews for grad school in seattle and palo alto. i hope the east coast schools call him soon. i know we'll be somewhere new soon.

i wish we had more flowers.