i spent my yesterday on a ladder above the ground stringing stars and colored bulbs around the house. after the divorce, i adopted the job. true, i'll invite others over to help, but i usually have them fetch lights for me when one is burnt out. i guess it's my special moment, hanging the lights. alone and in control as strange as it might seem. i focus, and all the other swirls of emotion disappear in my current state of mind.
multiple ass grabs and imitations of frodo. close quarters and early christmas presents. i wish i could make you smile just by looking at you like i used to. we walked down the trail of lights, full of color and music. i guess this year i didn't notice the reindeer or the ice world as much as i noticed the people i was with. evan, i don't know about the spankings...didn't float my boat. the yule log sparked into the air little fairies disappearing. and i spun under the newly redecorated patriotic christmas tree until i fell over, giggled and then pulled someone down with me. chocolate brown, cider gold and rosy frozen cheeks.
cliche kelly boy comment: the boy a barnes and noble scares me b/c he is so beautiful. and i watch him while he is behind the counter wearing dark gray sweaters. and his smile seems so sweet in the world of written pages that surround him. we passed him as we walked down the sidewalk carrying bags, and he was holding his book open, eyes and mind totally engrossed in whatever lay inside. and i wish that someday he'll be as engrossed in me.
currently spinning: the beatles: in my life