ever since two undisclosed people (i would go as far as to say best friends at the time) completely dumped me as a friend in the past few years, i've found it harder and harder to put forth the effort into concept of friendship. this is not to say i love the people who are close to me, in fact i revel that i know them and get to share good times with such beautiful and hilarious people. deep down i'm uncertain. maybe it's being in the same place where i'm bound to hear about or see one or the other from time to time, but i feel socially inept here. i was v. inspired in vienna to come back and kick ass as the saying goes, but upon returning...the attitude reverted. so as a way to express my feelings to those i care deeply about in total yearbook format in no particular order...

ben: you are my soul twin (four years and counting). you are a genius. and every day that i see you working on something, i am proud of you. you are eddie and richard and yngwie and cuddly puppies combined. you are smart as fuck and talented as fuck and hilarious as fuck and you like to fuck...oh wait. i love you, dontay moon goddess.

erin: you're like my other sister. i just totally trust you and love who you are. without you, things would have been totally different. in a bad way. b/c we wouldn't have found so many phallic objects among other reasons. and i'm lucky to know you.

vero: duhz, you're my mom. i'm going to miss you in the fall b/c i'm going to miss my crazy vegetarian modern latina that makes me fall over laughing. you are smaht and cool and so cultured, it makes me jealous and i really look up to you.

natalie: you are the sweet captain. to be honest, you're like the honorary pony to my pony b/c you are that awesome. i love how nutty you are when you are tired. and how motivated you are to get shit done. you rule.

johnny: maybe we don't see each other as much, but i still think you're like the most megabad artist/musician/mexican. literally everytime i see some of your shit, be it a serigraph or a performance, i'm like, damn boy is awesome. your drive is fucking out of control. and i love you for it.

tyler: i trust you wif all my heart. and you are by far one of the most caring and dear people in the world. i like that you listen. and you really listen. and i like that you bring champagne for me to get drunk on. you should know that i am always here for you, not just b/c you are always there for me, but b/c you deserve all the love you can get.

charles: thank you for always talking to me and letting watch the wonder years and queer eye at your house b/c it meant a lot. you are the karaoke king and a sweetheart. plus you are hilarious and cool. cool is all that matters.

nick: what the fuck? the science art love triangle is a beautifully chaotic thing (haha). i am so totally in love with you. when you smile, i smile. and i stick by my assertion that you have grown to be a better dancer than myself, tim harrington and napoleon dynamite. and i love when we dance together. you're my little chef, little scientist, little literaturist, little movie critic...and i love that you share all of those things with me. you are everything on that list and it just backed up my already sure feelings that you are the greatest boy in the world for me that makes me the happiest a girl could be.

"hags" and shoutouts. haha.