my mother is watching a movie about whores that want to travel out to oregon.
sometimes i feel nauseous with life as i pass under concrete bridges that i occasionally admire for their smooth and sleek appearance. but today, they were ugly. and i wonder why the fuck. it's when i start thinking about that big picture rather than the picture of my life that it gets ludicrous.
crisitna and i went searching for the cuckoo's nest at book stores while the clock struck ten. we found kesey, but also found a world of young adult books about budding sexuality and cyber sex as well as classy journals for the prententious with their pastel stripes or diamonds and gold lettering. who are they people that adore me? simply everyone. the shopping experience i had that made me feel that nearly every piece of clothing was custom made for me...the shoes that i love so much, i've nearly worn them out. my my, the i'm fabulous journal really got me feeling rich and snooty. love me love me love me.
it's cold again and i want to stay warm.
i feel a little gypped that i never got to have the exciting life of the kids in coming-of-age movies. no being tracked down by the hot senior on my sister's wedding day, no adventures towards the discovery of a dead body, no buying into corporate america, no giving my diamond earings to the rebel (except damion said we could do that sometime), no being chased by hercules, no falling in love with my ex-step brother or gettin' it on in jamaica. just sitting here eating my terry's chocolate orange that i got to whack on the table in a fit of mini-rage. i'm still waiting for that adventure, or at least someone to write a movie about that stuff that did happen to me and dramatize it so it sells. hopefully the road trip to california this summer will bring oodles of fun that do not, in any way, shape or form, resemble britney spears' shit of a movie.
i've got friends for life though. i really don't need anything else. b/c even if i fail miserably, they'll let me stay with them for a little while.
this just in, they did make it to oregon.
i want to bury my cheek upon your chest and take care of you. we could sit on top of rocks outside near the stream and talk underneath the sky with the sun bright and white overhead. darling, get well soon.
i get to sashay myself to the bathroom for a bath and grapevine my way up the stairs into bed.